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Lost Love

#Lostlove Losing your best friend never feels good. It feels like a big empty pit in every organ of your body. Your mind reaches out to them constantly, and you’re always battling the monstrous idea of them sneaking into your head. I made my choice to leave. I had to grow up. I could no longer enable myself to live a comfortable life I didn’t deserve. And I knew you and I deserved more than the life we were living. It’s not that it was bad, or that you were not good to me. It’s that we lived a lie amidst all the beauty of our friendship. That lie was that I was going to be a good wife, a good friend, and an accomplice to you forever. How can I be any of those things when I have yet to understand myself or deal with real life. I stand by my decision painful as it may be. I succumbed to my lingering thoughts of you for a moment. And that allowed you to be hopeful, and somewhere in that space I felt hopeful too. But just because I am too scared to confront being alone or tackling my own